New Poem: AFTER THE POETRY BALL

 watched some of it remotely 

 then saw some of its faces on, of course, Facebook 

 some have aged notably

 one person now carries a blindness cane

 two people I unfortunately remember from when I was younger 

 and starry-eyed and quiet and wanting to belong

 >

 some accepted me and others did not

 and it didn’t help when I rowed the perceived Wrong Way

 I was bullied—people said they were defending themselves 

 then I lost myself and responded with retaliation—

 thinking I was standing up for myself—

 plus there was anonymous hazing where others knew

 but chose to be silent, perhaps thinking they were friends

 or worried over offending a flawed totem they chose to enable 

 >

 I was treated for Multiple Myeloma last year

 and, upon transplant recovery, realized how big the world was

 also how small today’s celebrated poetry scene is

 (remote viewing when I checked didn’t go past mid-two digits)

>

 I can’t do anything about a past that, thankfully, is now distant 

 I can only write hoping someone might read someday

 I can watch remotely and appreciate what is good

 but I am still painfully aware of who my friends aren’t 

 and I saw too many of them gathered in Facebook photos

 on the grounds of the Los Angeles Central Library