Filmmaker Sophia Takal's nonreview of Woody Allen's latest film.

Southern California residents of a certain age might remember Hugh Bonar's brief reign as a hipster film reviewer at LA WEEKLY; Bonar's routine was to write about movies without actually writing  about the movie--essentially snark that assumed the audience colluded with the Bonar ethos that actual analysis of the movie wasn't necessary because (yuk, yuk) the movie's so lame, so bad, so not worth writing about seriously.

Here's filmmaker Sophia Takal's nonreview of Woody Allen's MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT, focusing briefly (as asides) on the film itself (already building consensus as a subpar follow up to last year's BLUE JASMINE): http://film.thetalkhouse.com/talks/sophia-takal-green-talks-woody-allens-magic-in-the-moonlight/?awesm=tlkh.se_q0K

In fairness to Ms. Takal, she avoids tying the film to references to the child molestation allegations against Allen in the 90s (in which he was not charged) recently revived by Dylan Farrow, her mother Mia Farrow and NEW YORK TIMES columnist Nicholas Kristof.

A.O. Scott did just that in his NYT review: http://nyti.ms/1jXqVcO

Aaron Hillis now rivals Hugh Bonar as one of the tackiest LA WEEKLY film reviewers ever.

There's a student-film-level geriatric romance/sex comedy called PLAY THE GAME opening this weekend (not planning to see it, having suffered the give-just-about-everything-away trailer) with Andy Griffith in his first major role since appearing in Adrienne Shelly's WAITRESS.

Aaron Hillis' negative review (don't know if it originated in the LA WEEKLY or with one of the other Michael Lacey alternapapers) of the film (look it up on http://www.laweekly.com) starts off okay in a young-man-writing-to-his-age-group fashion. But Hillis goes for the worst kind of insensitive-to-cruel snark in his final sentence:
"We're thankfully only treated to a chaste closeup of Griffith's doughy puppet face as he's [receiving a certain sex act]--think AVENUE Q [the adult NYC musical with imitation Muppets]."

Great, Aaron. Just freaking wonderful.

LA CITY BEAT: Here's a chance to compare Andy Klein to his replacements.

Recently, veteran alternapaper film critic Andy Klein was relieved of his weekly duties at LOS ANGELES CITY BEAT.

So readers will know what they'll be missing, here are some samples of Klein's work:
http://www.lacitybeat.com/cms/story/detail/godard_s_missing_link/7932/

http://www.lacitybeat.com/cms/story/detail/blinded_by_the_light/7919/

Now, let's shine a light on Klein's replacements at LA CITY BEAT.

First up, here is a review of PAUL BLART MALL COP by Megan Seling, who, in her prose stylings, tries hard to emulate both departed LACB editor Rebecca Schoenkopf and short-lived LA WEEKLY mid-90s snarkster Hugh Bonar:
http://www.lacitybeat.com/cms/story/detail/food_court_blues/7952/

Next is a review of the Bollywood/Kung Fu hybrid CHADNI CHOWK TO CHINA:
http://www.lacitybeat.com/cms/story/detail/currying_favor/7951/ by Brendan Kiley, who, in his prose stylings, comes off as a slightly punkier version of Ben AT THE MOVIES Lyons.

Assuming the rationale for hiring Ms. Seling and Mr. Kiley at LA CITY BEAT was something like: "Hey, their salaries combined are a lot less than what we were paying Andy!"
[CORRECTION TO THE ABOVE PARAGRAPH: Seling and Kiley are, according to critic Luke Y. Thompson, syndicated critics now being carried by LA CITY BEAT. Here's Thompson's complete post in the comments section on HOLLYWOOD-ELSEWHERE:http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2009/01/newbies.php Sorry for the inaccurate assumption. And here's a comprehensive entry on Thompson's blog addressing the post-Andy CITY BEAT: http://www.lytrules.com/weblog/archives/003006.php]

Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen the past and future of alterative newspaper film criticism.

Which era do you prefer?