Poem: I'M AFRAID OF DENNIS MILLER.

As a response to Dennis Miller's recent antics (at Sonia Sotomayor's expense) on THE O'REILLY FACTOR, I'm resurrecting this old poem of mine:
I’M AFRAID OF DENNIS MILLER

I don’t want to get off on a rant here,
but I had a nightmare just recently.

In my dream, I saw former comedian Dennis Miller
walking down State Street in Santa Barbara
wearing a sandwich board saying
NUKE IRAN AND NORTH KOREA
BEFORE THEY NUKE US!!!
and selling sealed-in-plastic paperback copies
of General Douglas MacArthur’s autobiography.

I’m old enough to remember when Dennis Miller
was actually funny.
This was when he was the fake newsman on
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE’S WEEKEND UPDATE
and hosted syndicated and HBO talk shows.
At that time, he poked fun at all kinds of absurdity-
whether it was from the Left or the Right.

Then, Dennis came out of the political closet
and became a rabid Republican.
He likes to say it was a result of 9/11.
But Dennis was already lusting for the favor
of George W. Bush and his acolytes
after the 2000 election.

And now he holds court on Fox News
(motto: We Distort, You Decide)
preaching to the angry-and-resentful converted
like a slightly more jovial carbon copy
of that master of fairness and balance-Bill O’Reilly.

I decide to go up to Dennis and pull his chain a little bit.

“Hey, Dennis!” I yell out.
“I remember when you referred to Tammy Faye Bakker
as The Stepford Hick on SNL.
Now, you’re making nice with the religious right.
What happened?”

Dennis scowls and his face turns the color
of a Red State.

“If you say that again, I’ll sue the f--- out of you!” he hisses.
“I’ve got a reputation to protect!
Besides, pal, you sound as impotent
as Woodrow Wilson arguing
for U.S. involvement in the League of Nations.
By the way, you wouldn’t be interested in a
JUST SAY NO TO KOFI ANNAN button, would you?
Of course not, you’re just another brain-dead liberal
who won’t listen to the Truth!
Get the f--- out of here
and go crawl up Howard Dean’s ass, why don’t you?”

I take the hint and start to walk away.

But I now hear Dennis singing a parody
of an old rock-and-roll song in an off-key,
malicious-drunk-tormenting-bar-patrons voice:
BOMB, BOMB, BOMB
BOMB BOMB IRAN!!!!

End of nightmare.
Fade to black.