Friday, June 29, 2012
RIP Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' marriage.
Wishing young Suri Cruise the best in the wake of the tabloid maelstrom she'll be entering. Here's a poem by IMDB blogger Melanie McFarland: TomKat Blues (with Apologies to W.H. Auden) Shut off your cell phones and stop all the clocks, Put your sweet fashionistas in the somber’est of frocks, Silence the talk shows with their sorrowful preaching, Bring out the pre-nup, let the tabloids start screeching. Let aeroplanes circle as their engines faintly hum Scribbling on the sky the message, “Tom and Katie are Done!” Put jokes up on Twitter about contracts expiring, Let Facebook updates guess which lawyers he’s hiring. She moved him to frolic on Oprah’s plush chaise, She told W Mag, “Tom and I will always be in our honeymoon phase” “He’s my man! He’s my man!” she would go on to cheer, We thought they would last for, like, 10 or so years. The stars have no comment for E!’s TV hosts, Roll up the red carpet. Go ‘way, New York Post. Cask the Cristal, calm the air with sandalwood, For nothing now can ever come to any good.