“It’s better to be king for a night
than schmuck for a lifetime.”—
line written by Paul D. Zimmerman
for Martin Scorsese’s THE KING OF COMEDY
Once you had time for nobodies like me.
Hell, I even liked/respected you enough to
give you a lift in downtown Austin
when we were both participants in
a poetry festival eighteen years ago.
But you wanted to be appreciated by the right people.
And I went through a phase in my life
where I was too easily angered by
the right people openly despising the wrong people
instead of realizing what I couldn't change
and what others didn't want to change--
and going about my business.
So I became enraged at you in a public place
when you were surrounded by the people
you never wanted to be separated from.
And I--
in just over a minute--
built a wall between us
far too high to ever be breached.
Eventually, I stopped trying to
either beg for a clean slate
or continue being frustrated
over your relentless resolve
to keep miscreants like me
out of future poetry conversations.
I acknowledge I hurt you
with my belligerence and wrath.
with my belligerence and wrath.
And all I can do now
is to write this poem
from permanent exile
and keep going about my business.
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