I was shaped too well for the lockdown life
Kept away from bad influences
Held back from after school jobs
Ordered to be studious
Hit with a plastic ruler at 10
Slapped over and over at 17
Because my valedictorian speech was short
Meaning I didn’t try hard enough
So I gave in and made it longer
>
Learned not to argue
Viewed the world as adversarial
Saw things my parents’ way
There were good days wrapped in cotton
At least until faltering in college
Then anger because I couldn’t balance
Work with a new appetite for play
Sometime in the spring of 1979
They gave up on me
>
Shy child as teenager
Emotionally 14
At the age of 21
More talkative as an adult
Who loved to read books and newspapers
Didn’t know how to read other people
When you can’t and won’t listen
You’re usually on your own
>
Opinionated in middle age
Too much so, certain people said
Someone who never knew me
Once let me know I was
In his mind a witless friendless
Talentless [word for feces]
>
Older now
Was increasingly stay-home
Even before the plague
Have a wife and cats
(So I did something right)
Plague makes me scared of lots of things
Especially not passing the virus to them
>
Hoping for gradual return to daily life
Set free whatever better self that remains inside
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