New Poem: LET’S CAPITULATE

 fall down now

 now—not a minute from now

 grovel grovel grovel grovel 

 please please don’t hurt me

 don’t shun me for a mere technicality 

 tell me what to say so I’ll know when to say 

 that weave of words saving me $16 million 

 >

 which anchor you want to throw softballs—

 nay, let’s just call them gentle grounders—

 please please please don’t hurt me

 I’ll make sure ABC treats you like Reagan 2.0

 put the whip back in the box

 reinsert the gun in its holster

 you’ll have no further reason to sue

Regarding Johnny Depp.

As expected, there are several what's-going-wrong entertainment media articles on Johnny Depp's affinity for payday jobs in would-be franchise starters like THE LONE RANGER (which would have been immeasurably better if Depp and Gore Verbinski created a lower-budget, non-Disney/Bruckheimer product feeling obligated to hit familiar PIRATES marks) and MORTDECAI (haven't seen it, but marveling at how Depp passed on Wes Anderson's GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL to work for David Koepp yet again).

The only upcoming Depp projects that hold interest for me are the Whitey Bulger biopic (though it's being directed by the I-love-Formula Scott Cooper) and Depp's own still-in-the-works Keith Richards documentary.

Then it's back to the safety of being acceptably eccentric in two more PIRATES sequels and a sequel to ALICE IN WONDERLAND (the low point of the Depp/Tim Burton collabotations).

Vote for the STAR WARS character spinoff you'd like to see.

Since Disney is eager to maximize revenue from the formerly-George Lucas STAR WARS franchise, it should be no surprise that an announcement was just made re the first theatrical live-action spinoff movie (outside the main series) will be filmed in the UK:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-27789638

Here's a select list of characters.  Choose which  one (or more) of them deserve a starring role.

A. BOBA FETT
B. LANDO CALRISSIAN
C. PRINCESS LEIA
D. DARTH VADER
E. DARTH MAUL
F.  BIGGS DARKLIGHTER
G. JAWAS
H. EWOKS
I.  HAN SOLO
J.  LUKE SKYWALKER
K. MACE WINDU
L.  YODA

Your chance to choose the next director of Marvel's ANT-MAN.

With Adam McKay passing on the job of directing the soon-to-be-in-production ANT-MAN after negotiations with Marvel, here's a list of potential directors to consider:

A. EDGAR WRIGHT (should Marvel/Disney change its collective mind)
B. JOE DANTE (who has experience with films about miniaturization e.g. SMALL SOLDIERS, INNERSPACE)
C. PATTY JENKINS (almost tapped to direct the THOR sequel which went to Alan Taylor)
D. DAVID WAIN (experience with directing Paul Rudd e.g. ROLE MODELS)
E. MIMI LEDER (experience directing big-budget studio actioners e.g. THE PEACEMAKER AND DEEP IMPACT)
F. LOUIS D'ESPOSITO (Marvel producer who directed a couple of Marvel One-Shot shorts, including prototype for upcoming AGENT CARTER TV series)
G. RUBEN FLEISCHER (director of ZOMBIELAND and GANGSTER SQUAD; still mentioned for projects such as the yet-to-be-made GHOSTBUSTERS 3)
H. RAWSON MARSHALL THURBER (auteur of DODGEBALL and WE'RE THE MILLERS)

Film blogger Devin Faraci on Marvel, Disney and ANT-MAN.

Excerpted from Devin Faraci blog post:
"Marvel's always been autocratic - this is the house that (Kevin) Feige built, and he's been leading it with an iron fist - but things have been getting uglier over there for some time, especially now that Disney is getting involved. Why would the studio fuck with the division that's making money and having a huge cultural impact right when they're at their best? Because of dumb egos. Hollywood is dumb, run by dumb, venal people, and the executives who aren't creative resent the people who are, and want to get their stink on the movies. And you have to understand that Disney doesn't care about the movies - they want the Marvel IP so they can sell diapers and shirts and bedsheets. The movies are just commercials for the IP."

Full article can be found at:
http://badassdigest.com/2014/05/24/is-this-the-end-of-the-marvel-movie-age/?utm_content=buffer9775a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Joe Jonas in NEW YORK vs. David Cassidy in ROLLING STONE: Beneath the Planet of Teenpop.

Joe Jonas: My Life As a Jonas Brother:
http://www.vulture.com/2013/11/joe-jonas-talks-jonas-brothers.html

Link to 1972 ROLLING STONE article about David Cassidy during his PARTRIDGE FAMILY/solo career height; article titled "Naked Lunch Box":
http://mikestand.tumblr.com/post/24293359892/thefabulousthomasj-david-cassidy-the-naked

CARS 2/BRAVE--Pixar now apparently makes movies for kids only.

I think a lot of us can guess why Disney/Pixar's CARS 2 was made; assuming Bob Iger ordered it almost totally due to the massive sales of CARS toys.  But at least CARS 2, for its faults, did improve
on John Lasseter's overly indulgent, pokily-paced original.  However, after the three-for-three artistic/commerical successes of WALL-E, UP and TOY STORY 3, CARS 2 seemed like something
genetically engineered for 11 years-and-younger boys--heavy on the Mater stuff and very simple, nail-on-the-head approach to key story points.

BRAVE--a film which now stands as Pixar's lowpoint, equivalent to Disney's disastrous sword-and-sorcery 1985 venture into PG-edginess THE BLACK CAULDRON--is a film which started with a woman as writer/director (Brenda Chapman).  Apparently, Ms. Chapman's approach to the female-centered film was found wanting--and Mark Andrews (not a woman) was brought in to "save" it.  Thereby, the film has a promising first half-hour followed by a dental-floss thin storyline to carry the last hour.  (As irony would have it, sorcery/magic does play a role in Acts Two and Three of BRAVE.)

What's even worse is that the story points/moral are painted in 80s neon colors, with songs used on the soundtrack to pound the message in that much harder.  And the female empowerment/choose your destiny message is worthy, but even DreamWorks at its broadest (take ANTZ and SHARK'S TALE as examples) has a little more subtlety in storytelling.

So what are the problems with the Pixar factory in Emeryville CA?  John Lasseter being spread too thin (since he also oversees Disney in-house animation)?  Worries that WALL-E and UP were too "smart" for family audiences?  Massive pressure to crank out one a year--plus resorting to sequels/prequels?

Or is it an edict from Disney that animation should be kid-centered and dumbed down a bit, with no worries about pleasing a broad audience because parents will accompany children to even the worst kind of treacle that youngsters are hard-sold on via Disney Store dolls, TV ads, magazine articles etc?

Even if JOHN CARTER makes money later on, it's been tagged as box-office bomb.

http://tomshone.blogspot.com/2012/03/when-bombs-dont-explode.html

Tom Shone's article is worth reading, but the "bomb" tag will stay with Disney's JOHN CARTER.

Since The Walt Disney Company decided awhile back to only make blockbusters (with Touchstone now merely a distributor for DreamWorks live-action product), they put themselves in a vulnerable position when they decided to pump at least $250 million into a film based on a series of novels not widely known to today's audience.

Wondering if the same kind of nail-biting is going on in Burbank over the currently-filming THE LONE RANGER (it's been over thirty years since the last attempt at reviving the old Western TV series as a feature film).  Perhaps not, if current Disney studio head Rich Ross is secure in his belief that the casting of Johnny Depp as Tonto guarantees a big box-office take.

Re end of ONE LIFE TO LIVE: Disney/ABC has only one more soap to cancel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Life_to_Live
http://www.indystar.com/article/20120113/ENTERTAINMENT/201140309/-One-Life-Live-takes-its-last-breath-today?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7CIndyStar.com
http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/television/9933537-421/one-life-to-live-airs-final-episode.html

Brett Ratner does it the "Old Hollywood" sexist/gay-panic way..

http://www.deadline.com/2011/11/brett-ratner-out-as-oscar-producer/
http://www.deadline.com/2011/11/brett-ratner-explains-his-oscar-resignation/

Adding my perspective to the above:
Brett Ratner's distasteful, unnecessary and regrettable incident (referring to the too-common use of "fag" or "gay" as a synonym for "weak"/"weakling") proved to one of the most egregious examples of reckless and thoughtless "guy's guy" Hollywood behavior since ex-New Line majordomo/now producer Mike De Luca was the recipient of a woman's public sex act at an A-list Hollywood party:
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,282635,00.html

I can't help but wonder what Ratner's career as a producer/director of mainstream star-driven movie/TV entertainment would be like if he put all his attention into making better product (certainly TOWER HEIST could and should have been more than it is)--and less to emulating the never-will-completely-go-away sexist/homophobic "player" behavior prevalent in Hollywood male power figures.

Roger and Chaz Ebert looking for other funding for their film reviews show.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2011/11/unless_we_find_an_angel.html

I'll repeat some of what I've said here in the past:
Yes, it's good that Roger Ebert put a film review show on television to take up the gap left when The Walt Disney Company guillotined AT THE MOVIES.

But, like the sad season of AT THE MOVIES when Ben Mankiewicz was shackled to shallow Ben (son of Jeffrey) Lyons, Ignatly the Intellect is handcuffed a la 39 STEPS to supersmiling-though-not-dumb Christy Lemire (essentially Richard "careerist" Roeper in drag).

And I don't understand why Roger and Chaz Ebert seem to have a weakness for too-eager-to-be-telegenic cardboard people like Lemire and Roeper.  Perhaps too much deference to TV execs who were likely in preschool when Roger won his Pulitzer Prize.

If the current Ebert show fails to find non-Ebert money to produce and dies a premature death, all one can say is to read Roger's very good autobiography LIFE ITSELF and seek out old clips of SISKEL AND EBERT in its various incarnations to see film criticism on television done right.

[UPDATE 11/11/11: Here's Chaz Ebert thanking viewers of EBERT PRESENTS for their support thus far: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2011/11/a_personal_message_from_chaz_e.html#more]

Another legacy of the George Butch Jr. administration: Michaelangelo statue gets its genitalia covered by Disney/ABC.

There are a few legacies remaining in America from the George Butch Jr. (aka George W. Bush) administration (not counting the Obama administration still going to "the dark side" to fight terrorism--or as John Wayne said in THE GREEN BERETS, "Out here, due process is a bullet."). 

Buy a physical CD, and you'll see an FBI anti-piracy warning logo.  Watch a TV show on  broadcast networks or basic cable, and you'll see lips engaged in profane wordspeak being blurred out so impressionable minds will not become scarred by guessing what words are being said as they hear the bleeping on the soundtrack.

And, now, from Twitter, there's this post from David Rambo (reposted by actor/Christopher Guest regular Michael McKean):
"ABC just blurred the genitals on Michaelangelo's David on 20/20. At 10pm. A statue. 500 years old."

Why I gave up on the new TV series PAN AM after a few minutes.

Admittedly, I'm not the audience Disney/ABC wants for the new Sunday night series PAN AM.

Obviously, the target audience is 18-35 year-old women who will be enthralled by the 1963 retro setting, the conscious visual
attempt at replicating the lush stylings of early 1960s Technicolor/Metrocolor/Color by Deluxe/Cinemascope romantic comedy/dramas--and the mild dose of what was called "do-me feminism" in the era when Naomi Wolf was at her nonfiction/pundit peark.

I got to the early scene where Christina Ricci (likely eager for a steady career-rebuilding gig after appearing in Happy Madison's Nick Swardson vehicle BUCKY LARSON) says goodbye to her meant-to-be-Beat boyfriend who replies with a line like "I don't need to see the world to change it."

And I started to think of some conservative blather I read a long time ago where Julie Nixon Eisenhower and Tricia Nixon Cox were considered the "real rebels" of the 60s--another f--- you to a counterculture who brought about more good change than bad.  So wonderful of PAN AM to bring back that semi-buried memory.

As a slight respite from the endorsement of well-groomed conformity, there's
a spy subplot with co-star Kelli Garner (who gave good and underappreciated performances in studio boutique films like THUMBSUCKER and LARS AND THE REAL GIRL)

Cut to the scene where Christina goes to the Pan Am building to take a helicopter to the airport (she's indispensable to the flight and needs to get to her job in 35 minutes).

Then, there's the time-honored cliche of Ms. Ricci changing clothes in the back of the cab--with the cabbie sneaking a quick peek.

That's all I ever intend to see of PAN AM.

The DANCING WITH THE STARS cast I'd rather see for fall 2011.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/08/new_dancing_with_the_stars_cas.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Not sure if its the economy or a low opinion of the viewing audience, but, once again, the DANCING WITH THE STARS cast is rather underwhelming (Nancy Grace?  Kristin Cavillari?  David Arquette?).

Here are my choices:
a. Alec Baldwin
b. Warren Beatty
c. James Franco
d. Samuel L. Jackson
e. George Lopez
f.  Megan Fox
g. Valerie Bertinelli
h. Sherri Shepherd (think of the cross-promos with THE VIEW)
i.  Carla Hall (ditto for cross-promos with THE CHEW)
j.  Helen Mirren

Soap operas aka daytime dramas--and then there were four.

http://abc.go.com/site/abcdaytimenews
http://www.tvsquad.com/2011/04/14/abc-cancels-all-my-children-one-life-to-live/?flv=1
http://daytimeconfidential.zap2it.com/2011/04/15/the-decline-of-the-american-soap-opera
And a flip, we're-above-this post from THE ONION'S AV CLUB:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/abc-cancels-all-my-children-and-one-life-to-live,54616/
Plus this sort-of-loud-and-symbolic-gesture from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner manufacturers:
http://www.deadline.com/2011/04/hoover-pulls-abc-advertising-in-protest-over-cancelations-of-soaps-amc-oltl/

My opinions:
1. ABC Daytime's Brian Frons is certainly playing the "managing for margins" game that Jeff Zucker did at NBC last season when pulling 10 o'clock series for the disastrous-but-cheap JAY LENO SHOW.  Since THE CHEW (rhymes with THE VIEW) and THE REVOLUTION will be less expensive than either AMC or OLTL, it's safe to guess that Frons won't stress out from fall 2011 to late-summer 2012 if the ratings for both series are lower than what they're replacing.

2. I feel sorry for the NYC-based actors who counted on NYC-taped soaps for all or at least part of their annual income.  Certainly the cancellation of OLTL (the last NYC soap standing) is the end of an era.

3. It may be easy to mock and smirk at daytime soaps--particularly about their tendencies to be rather broad and unsubtle in characterizations and scripting.  But I've watched them on and off through my lifetime (SANTA BARBARA was a particular favorite).  And it's sad to see them gradually become extinct (expecting the usual cliche about how pre-emptions for the O.J. Simpson trial coverage started the inevitable-slide-downwards).

Another example of Bristol Palin rage re DANCING WITH THE STARS.

http://www.deadline.com/2010/11/cbs-tv-city-evacuated-over-suspicious-white-powder-at-dancing-offices/

Not much to add to this except to say that the human mind who did this is an organ which descended to the
sub-basement level.

Roger and Chaz Ebert revive AT THE MOVIES with new hosts.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/pages-for-twitter/roger-ebert-presents-at-the-moe.html

It's good to read that Roger Ebert has resurrected AT THE MOVIES--to air on PBS in January.  As for the on-air talent: Christy Lemire of the Associated Press is less glib than Richard Roeper, but still mainstream-movie-friendly.  Elvis Mitchell (known both for his print career and NPR hosting) is a welcome idiosyncratic choice to fill the other chair.

At the very least, it will be a vast improvement on the Ben Lyons/Ben Mankiewicz version of AT THE MOVIES.  Hoping there will also be room for A.O. (Tony) Scott and Michael Phillips to revive their recently-canceled-by-Disney double act.

Why I haven't rushed out to big-studio summer movies yet.

Perhaps it's age--and perhaps it's also witnessing coming-attractions trailers. But I haven't been persuaded to invest time and admission money in slavish remakes of either THE A-TEAM (from the once-promising Joe NARC Carnahan) or THE KARATE KID (which at least proves that old showbiz legend Jerry Weintraub--who helped birth the original franchise--is someone you should never bet against).

But the cut-cut-cut-costs and play it safe-safe-safe methodology of the studios (one would think that Jeff Robinov would have been 86ed from Time Warner by now) seem to be biting them in the posterior--with Pixar craftsmanship (although with the recent Pixar tendency towards overlength) and Christopher Nolan imagination likely to be the only real offsets to a likely red-ink corporate moviemaking bottom line this summer.

In terms of the big-release summer films I have seen, here's some random opinionating:
The Cronenberg-esque SPLICE (about two-thirds of an engrossing film) would have been better off being distrubuted by IFC or Magnolia on a specialty theater/pay-per-view platform. For WB to throw it out (in the US) on a 2000-screen basis left it to laughed at by mass audience hyenas who wanted copious amounts of blood and dismemberment and less of a thoughtful update of the time-honored morality play about scientists playing God at their peril.
GET HIM TO THE GREEK was a superior Nicholas Stoller-directed Judd Apatow outing to FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL--with the same crack teamwork of Russell Brand and Jonah Hill. Unfortunately, anything emerging from the Apatow banner has to display a pandering, faux-MORK AND MINDY morality (still remembering Robin Williams being stuck with the what-I've-learned "Mork calling Orson" tags to each episode) that is becoming increasingly awkward with every Apatow-based outing. So, if you haven't seen GREEK already, expect a have-it-every-possible-way approach to the subjects of sex and drug use.
Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe's ROBIN HOOD was stupidly dumped on by mainstream critics who apparently expected Errol Flynn heroics and zest. But the 2010 version had enough action and humor--and fortunately didn't espouse the dourness and nihilism of Richard Lester and James Goldstone's 1976 ROBIN AND MARIAN (which ended with the deaths of the two protagonists). But contemporary critics/reviewers (e.g. the usually astute Karina Longworth) shrieked as if the Scott film was an exact clone of Lester's earlier (and semi-forgotten) outing.

AT THE MOVIES:RIP.

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/03/see_you_at_the_movies.html

The above is Roger Ebert's glass-more-than-half-full eulogy for the AT THE MOVIES show--essentially the remnants of SNEAK PREVIEWS, the Siskel-and-Ebert show I first remember seeing on the Dallas, TX PBS outlet KERA-TV beginning around 1978 (when I was a college student living in Wichita Falls, TX).

Ebert and his wife Chaz are planning on a new film review show for TV--and I wish them well with their endeavor.

I'm curious as to who they can cut a deal with, given that there will be a lot of media conglomerates with we-don't-have-room-for-this-esoteric-low-dollar-generating-stuff attitude like the Walt Disney Company (which dealt the death blow to the Michael Phillips/A.O. Scott AT THE MOVIES this week).

They don't make DANCING WITH THE STARS casts like they used to.

Saw this cast list for the spring season of Disney/ABC's DANCING WITH THE STARS
on the Vulture section of NEW YORK magazine's website (http://www.nymag.com):
Pamela Anderson, “the world’s sexiest woman”
Chad Ochocinco, “football’s most outrageous”
Aiden Turner, “the soap stud” [ex-ALL MY CHILDREN]
Erin Andrews, “ESPN’s broadcasting beauty”
Shannen Doherty, “The Beverly Hills bad girl”
Buzz Aldrin, “the original moonwalker”
Niecy Nash, “Reno 911’s funniest”
Nicole Scherzinger, “the Pussycat Doll”
Evan Lysacek, “the Olympic golden boy”
Kate Gosselin, “reality’s most-watched super-mom”
Jake Pavelka, this season's Bachelor

Obviously not the most star-studded season. And it could more easily be referred to as
DANCING WITH THE REALITY SHOW STARS.

I'd prefer this cast:
Megan Fox
Bill Cosby
Lindsey Vonn
Shawn White
Kevin Bacon
Kathy Griffin
Ingo Rademacher [GENERAL HOSPITAL's Jax]
Charles Gibson
Elizabeth Vargas
James Franco [he could spin this as another performance art project]
Tyra Banks
Kellie Pickler

Something for just about every demographic.